What is there to gain from suffering?

Sometimes I find myself wondering, why is it that people have to die? Why is it that we must suffer? And though I don’t claim to be religious, I do find comfort in things from several religions. Being that I was raised a Christian, this is usually my first go to.

Like most people who have an unanswerable question, I took to Google. Not just because I’ve felt suffering, but because I feel that my suffering doesn’t even begin to compare to some other people. Why is it that I can hope for a brighter future, when there are others staring into an inevitable darkness? What makes me so special, or so ordinary? Sometimes so capable of taking my suffering in stride an other times feeling like I carry the weight of a world full of pain?

I am probably what most would call a “bleeding heart.” I am always trying to put myself in someone else’s shoes, feel their suffering and understand their pain. Though I’m not always at my best, this can lead me to some dark and somber places. When I took to Google to ask the question, “Why do some people suffer more than others?” what came back surprised me and brought me out.


“Scripture tells us that some people suffer because of divine punishment, some for their faith, and some to save others.”


As I mentioned, my go to when looking into things like this is usually whatever pops up regarding the Bible first. What I found was, of course, that God allowed many people to suffer in the Bible. But what I hadn’t thought about were the reasons behind this. What I found on the YMI website was this, “Scripture tells us that some people suffer because of divine punishment, some for their faith, and some to save others.”

I don’t mean this to be a sermon, but of course we know that the suffering of Jesus was for us, the suffering of Job was to test his faith. But divine punishment? I couldn’t readily recall anything regarding divine punishment. After some research, and to avoid jumping religions, the “Great Flood” would be considered a divine punishment from God. 


“What are you suffering for?”

Besides the possibility of everlasting life, what could you possibly gain from the suffering of anyone? A will to survive. A passion to help and prevent this suffering from happening less and less, until you’ve found a symbolic or even literal vaccination for that suffering. Whether that suffering was put in place by God, or it is something that is a result of the Big Bang, wouldn’t being able to lessen that suffering contribute something greater to the Universe? And when I think about the people that I have lost, shouldn’t I gain something from their memory that encourages me to carry on and live my best life, so that I can help someone do the same? From my own personal suffering, should I see it though, I see myself speaking life into others who find themselves in a dark place.

Most people will suffer, and some suffering will be more than others. But I find comfort in the idea that some of that suffering is to help us live a better life. And some of that suffering is so that we can improve the lives of others. What are you suffering for?

RIP to my Great Uncle Aaron, who was the inspiration behind this post.

8 Tips for Dealing with Bitter and Angry People

So, I’ve been dealing with a few particular bitter persons for quite some time, and usually it is every easy for me to push right through it. But even the best of us can fall victim to someone else’s negative energy. I’ve tried reasoning, I’ve tried understanding, I’ve tried confronting yet nothing seems to work to change this persons behaviour. I’m here to let you know, you can’t change anyone’s behaviour but your own.  I have some tricks that work best when I’m in my right mind and functioning at my highest vibrations. Which I’m proud to say is more often than not.

1. Don’t argue with crazy. You may have heard the saying, ” never argue with a fool because from a distance, no one can tell who is who.”
This is so true and I have to tell myself and others close to me this all the time. Save your breath, your thumb strength and your one liners. This person is not operating from a space of caring. None of your well thought out and supported facts will be received. You end up questioning yourself or your own intentions when there is no evidence to support their view. They are normally operating from hearsay at best.

2. Interact with this person as little as possible.
Don’t expose yourself to any mistreatment that isn’t necessary. This will only cause you angst, anger, sadness and all of the emotions in between. Use as little conversation to get your goal accomplished or get through an event. Anything more is when you begin to or risk your spirit being drained.

3. Do something else.
By this I mean, do something else to remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation. Focus on kids or other things that will allow you to spend as little time as possible under their gaze and provides you with a mood changer.

4. Don’t try to get them to understand you, they won’t!
They’re never going to understand your point of view. They don’t care about it. Their intensions are often times rooted in making you feel bad, or causing some disruption in your life. Take back your power and save yourself the trouble of a one on one.

5. Don’t get caught up in the blame game!
A person will find any reason, or excuse to blame your for the things going wrong in their life instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. You don’t have the power to control another persons outcome. Unless your name is Charles Manson or Jim Jones, I think you can free yourself of this guilt.

6. Remember the bigger picture.
There is a reason that you have to subject yourself to this person in the first place. There has to be a bigger picture at play. It may be a job that you love or a relationship with a loved one at stake. When you are feeling like doing something that wouldn’t be in your best interest, remind yourself that the reason you are here is bigger than them or you.

7. Don’t ask them for anything.
Sometimes this person may have something you want or need. And you feel that if you ask them nicely they’ll share it with you willingly, saving you time. But this person does not run on ‘wills.’ At least not when it comes to you. So, just avoid the plague they’ll send your way by even asking. Get your own!

8. Love your self!
Love yourself  so much that nothing this person has to say, negative or otherwise has any affect on how you feel about yourself

There are some people you just can’t cut out of your life no matter how much you wish you could. If there’s no strings attached, grab a pair of scissors. If you don’t have that option then try these steps, let me know how they work!

Here is an article if you need more steps that the ones above: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201201/dont-try-reason-unreasonable-people

Tell me how you feel after implementing these steps into your life. Were they helpful
or do you have any tips that aren’t listed but work best for you? Leave them below!

2017: The Year of Acceptance

When a new year starts it can be daunting to think about changing when you haven’t even accepted who or where you are. I would like to take a moment to work on a part of the Serenity Prayer that has always struck a cord with me:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

I know the new year is supposed to be about change. But this year, we may need to work on acceptance. This is a resolution that doesn’t get much recognition. There are so many people out there that are battling with their past, battling with their present, battling with their thoughts. Before you can change you need to accept that you are the person you are meant to be. There are some things about yourself that you just can’t change and need to be accepted and embraced to allow you to have a clear head. There is power in accepting who you are. When you truly accept who you are no one can tear you down for being gay, straight, transitioning, dark-skinned, light-skinned, Jewish or Atheist. You’ll begin to find power in those things that once were a sore spot for you.

Even things that can be improved upon can deserve some acceptance. Things like weight loss and mental illness are just a couple of things that also require acceptance. Accept that you are beautiful and capable no matter what. So that when you don’t have the energy or the drive to get things completed the way you would have hoped, you don’t allow it to consume you. You are still capable of continuing and picking yourself up from exactly where you left off.

We also need to accept unexpected change as it comes. Things may not have worked out how you expected this past year. Try accepting those changes, think about what you may have learned or what you may have gained from those unexpected changes and experiences. You can’t change the past any more than you can predict the future. Accept was has happened and do your best to make a brighter day, despite the difficulties you face.

Change is great but acceptance can be so powerful. Accept that you are who you were truly meant to be within. Any changes that come be they physical or metaphysical can only enhance what was already there in you all along. Accept who you are meant to be, challenges and all. Because if you are looking for change, it may not come easy. So accept the challenge. Change doesn’t have to be your only goal for 2017, and acceptance can be a catalyst.

**Do you have any things you are working on accepting in the new year or any goals you have set out? Drop them below! Your acceptance can help someone else!**