Wellness Journey + Weight Loss

Before having my kids I was on a wellness journey, though I didn’t know it at the time. I maintained a steady weight for the most part and worked out regularly but with no goal in mind. Thinking back on that time, I never once wondered what I was putting into my body. Though I did proactively feed myself mentally and spiritually by reading.

Since having my kids I have struggled daily and sometimes minute by minute to reclaim my body, my health and my self-confidence. I use the term WELLNESS instead of fitness or weight-loss when describing my journey because it is so much more than losing weight or being a certain size. It is about taking care of of the mind, soul and body. It’s about watching what is fed into your soul just as much as watch what you put into your body or what you allow yourself to think about.

When I first started my wellness journey I didn’t realize that it was going to take a lot of effort on my part. I didn’t realize there was more to my health than just wanting. It’s easy to put an hour in the gym but what are you going to do with the other 23 hours. You have to need it. You have to believe it and you have to focus your intention on what exactly it is that you want. To help you focus your intentions it helps to clear your space.

wellness journey

It is so important to clear your space of junk. This doesn’t just mean get rid of those chocolate chip cookies in the cabinet. This also goes for social media and things like it. Follow accounts that encourage you to reach your goals. Not those accounts that are showing moist chocolate or those that or showing unattainable “body goals”. Don’t hesitate to remove anything that doesn’t speak to the energy you are trying to create. Anything less would be to set your self up for triggers and make things harder. Don’t drive by that Starbucks you like to frequent on your way home if it’s going to make it hard for you to stay on track and reach your goal. After all, the point is to reach your goals.

During this time I have lost over 25 pounds, and between 5-6 inches off of my waist. And I’m not done yet. My hope is to eventually help others on their road to looking good, but more importantly feeling good. When you take on an endeavor of becoming a healthier version of your self it is so important to not just focus on what a scale says. Measure your progress by how well you are managing life, how good you feel mentally as well as physically. How does your soul feel?

 

 

What is there to gain from suffering?

Sometimes I find myself wondering, why is it that people have to die? Why is it that we must suffer? And though I don’t claim to be religious, I do find comfort in things from several religions. Being that I was raised a Christian, this is usually my first go to.

Like most people who have an unanswerable question, I took to Google. Not just because I’ve felt suffering, but because I feel that my suffering doesn’t even begin to compare to some other people. Why is it that I can hope for a brighter future, when there are others staring into an inevitable darkness? What makes me so special, or so ordinary? Sometimes so capable of taking my suffering in stride an other times feeling like I carry the weight of a world full of pain?

I am probably what most would call a “bleeding heart.” I am always trying to put myself in someone else’s shoes, feel their suffering and understand their pain. Though I’m not always at my best, this can lead me to some dark and somber places. When I took to Google to ask the question, “Why do some people suffer more than others?” what came back surprised me and brought me out.

 

“Scripture tells us that some people suffer because of divine punishment, some for their faith, and some to save others.”

 

As I mentioned, my go to when looking into things like this is usually whatever pops up regarding the Bible first. What I found was, of course, that God allowed many people to suffer in the Bible. But what I hadn’t thought about were the reasons behind this. What I found on the YMI website was this, “Scripture tells us that some people suffer because of divine punishment, some for their faith, and some to save others.”

I don’t mean this to be a sermon, but of course we know that the suffering of Jesus was for us, the suffering of Job was to test his faith. But divine punishment? I couldn’t readily recall anything regarding divine punishment. After some research, and to avoid jumping religions, the “Great Flood” would be considered a divine punishment from God. 

 

“What are you suffering for?”

Besides the possibility of everlasting life, what could you possibly gain from the suffering of anyone? A will to survive. A passion to help and prevent this suffering from happening less and less, until you’ve found a symbolic or even literal vaccination for that suffering. Whether that suffering was put in place by God, or it is something that is a result of the Big Bang, wouldn’t being able to lessen that suffering contribute something greater to the Universe? And when I think about the people that I have lost, shouldn’t I gain something from their memory that encourages me to carry on and live my best life, so that I can help someone do the same? From my own personal suffering, should I see it though, I see myself speaking life into others who find themselves in a dark place.

Most people will suffer, and some suffering will be more than others. But I find comfort in the idea that some of that suffering is to help us live a better life. And some of that suffering is so that we can improve the lives of others. What are you suffering for?

RIP to my Great Uncle Aaron, who was the inspiration behind this post.

#LostandFound: What To Do When You Feel Lost And Have No Motivation

No matter where you are in life, it’s not uncommon to feel lost, listless and purely unmotivated. Anyone who is in this moment knows that you can’t stay in this spot forever.  It could pass on its own or you can be proactive. If you can’t afford to be in this funk then here are a list of things that just might help!

1. Fasting! There’s nothing like a little deprivation to clear your mind. When your mind is clear you will be able to connect with the things that really matter to you. It has also been shown to have mood boosting affects. Fasting has also been known to help with weight loss when done intermittently. There are several ways to fast. Such as ingesting nothing but water up until a certain time of day, or only ingesting fruits and veggies. I’ve found this to be very helpful when trying to overcome negative situations and energy.

2. Write your feelings down! This can be a good accompaniment to fasting as well as prayer. Getting those ideas, fears, negative thoughts on paper can be like release therapy. You can burn them or save them to go back to later. When your mind is clear you may have some great gems to go back to and revisit. You can also revisit your goals or things you are working toward. Reminding yourself what you are doing and why can help reignite  the flame. Don’t lost track of where you’re going!

3. Travel! To me, there is nothing more soothing that sitting on a beach watching the waves come and go. Even the drive to your destination can even allow you time to clear your head and reconnect with the things that matter most to you. You can literally leave those worries behind for a moment and escape whatever is that is bothering you. When you comeback, you’ll have a new attitude and be ready to conquer. If you can’t travel, take a walk. I’m cheap, theres always an alternative!

4.Rest! You don’t always have to be on top of it every second of the day. It’s okay to take a day off and do absolutely nothing but stuff your face and binge watch Netflix. You have to take a break sometimes! Give yourself a specified amount of time to be in this funk and once it’s over get back to business. You have goals to reach! 

When you’re feeling like you might not be going down the right path, or you have no motivation to continue down the one you’re on try these steps. They’ve been a great help to me, let me know if they work for you!

 

**If you have any other ideas or tips to help get you back on your path leave them below or send me a message!**

Photo cred: Flickr

2017: The Year of Acceptance

When a new year starts it can be daunting to think about changing when you haven’t even accepted who or where you are. I would like to take a moment to work on a part of the Serenity Prayer that has always struck a cord with me:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

I know the new year is supposed to be about change. But this year, we may need to work on acceptance. This is a resolution that doesn’t get much recognition. There are so many people out there that are battling with their past, battling with their present, battling with their thoughts. Before you can change you need to accept that you are the person you are meant to be. There are some things about yourself that you just can’t change and need to be accepted and embraced to allow you to have a clear head. There is power in accepting who you are. When you truly accept who you are no one can tear you down for being gay, straight, transitioning, dark-skinned, light-skinned, Jewish or Atheist. You’ll begin to find power in those things that once were a sore spot for you.

Even things that can be improved upon can deserve some acceptance. Things like weight loss and mental illness are just a couple of things that also require acceptance. Accept that you are beautiful and capable no matter what. So that when you don’t have the energy or the drive to get things completed the way you would have hoped, you don’t allow it to consume you. You are still capable of continuing and picking yourself up from exactly where you left off.

We also need to accept unexpected change as it comes. Things may not have worked out how you expected this past year. Try accepting those changes, think about what you may have learned or what you may have gained from those unexpected changes and experiences. You can’t change the past any more than you can predict the future. Accept was has happened and do your best to make a brighter day, despite the difficulties you face.

Change is great but acceptance can be so powerful. Accept that you are who you were truly meant to be within. Any changes that come be they physical or metaphysical can only enhance what was already there in you all along. Accept who you are meant to be, challenges and all. Because if you are looking for change, it may not come easy. So accept the challenge. Change doesn’t have to be your only goal for 2017, and acceptance can be a catalyst.

**Do you have any things you are working on accepting in the new year or any goals you have set out? Drop them below! Your acceptance can help someone else!**

IFYAM: Stop Being The “Crazy” Girlfriend

This is an ode to all of the crazy girlfriends out there. Let’s just take a step back and chill!

First off, you may be asking your self, “Am I a crazy girlfriend?” Chances are, if you have to ask, you already know. I don’t like to uplift the crazy but I can’t deny that I have been the crazy girlfriend a time or two before. What causes the crazy girlfriend to wil’ out and not care who’s looking? If you are crazy, how do you change? Coming from a semi reformed crazy girlfriend, let me help you. Put your hand in my hand, let’s take a walk, I promise I won’t look anywhere else but into your eyes😍.

What causes you or your girlfriend to go crazy!? This could be a number of things, but let’s just touch on some of the key factors.

  1. Past relationships or past incidents in the current relationship can cause a girlfriend to be on edge. Once something happens to break trust in can be hard to not be on the defensive. If you’ve lied about something important or said you were one place when you were somewhere totally different, don’t be surprised if your girlfriend is tracking you via Find My iPhone. Now you word isn’t good enough, she needs physical proof that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Yes, it’s your fault!
  2. Insecurities can  also play a big part in the crazy girlfriends way of thinking. If she doesn’t feel beautiful, she’s going to assume you are finding beauty in all of the photos of those Instagram girls with the big butts and boobs we can only get if we manage to win a Dr. Miami body makeover giveaway. Next time you see Bernice Burgos Instagram fellas just keep scrolling. Do you really need to double tap that? Gosh!
  3. She might not even know she’s being crazy! Sometimes, what you might think is crazy, is really just normal behavior for her. She’s done these things so much and so often she’s not even aware that she might be taking things a bit too far with you. Maybe she doesn’t need to have her friends following you to work to make sure you stay there all day. Plus if she’s tracking you via Find My iPhone, it’s just overkill.
  4. Take a look at your self. Really ask your self, what might you be doing to encourage this behavior. Yes, everyone has the right to choose there reaction to the stimuli in front of them. But you can only ask so much of your significant other. Are there things she’s been asking you to do or not do that you’ve failed to pay attention to?

So it’s broken, how do you fix it?

I though you’d never ask! There two parts to this, if you’re a crazy girlfriend, we’ll talk to you first. You have no patience!

  1. Work on yourself! There’s no better way to work on your quality of life than to improve upon yourself. Maybe you need to seek counseling, to help you get rid of that baggage or maybe you just need to share how it is affecting you with your current partner. Sometimes the best way to let go of somethings is to just put it all out there until you feel better. If you need help sticking to a goal, check this article out.
  2. Tell yourself you are beautiful! It sounds so cliche but it can work wonders. And if you don’t believe it when you are saying it, it doesn’t hurt to change things up a bit. Try a new hairstyle, go to the gym or buy some new clothes. I know there are so many things you’ve been thinking about doing but you can’t do them because you’re trying to make sure you don’t miss something bad that hasn’t happened yet. Go take care of yourself and don’t worry about anyone else.
  3. You can’t control the past or the future. You can’t spend you time worrying about what might happen, and you know this. But if something does happen, wouldn’t you want to be painting that mural or writing that book you’ve been dreaming about instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  4. No, we aren’t going to tell you to drop your partner. Only you know if that’s the best option for you. But if they are the trigger for you to turn into the Sherlock Homegirl… we may want to consider this option. But also know you may need to cut your man some slack. Running isn’t always the option, don’t be afraid to work on yourself or apologize when it’s needed.

Now for Mr. Fix It. I’m just going to give you some bullet points so it’s easy to follow along. We know you don’t like to read. If you’ve gotten this far, round of applause. And not the kind you get in the strip club.

  • Check yourself. What are you doing and what could you do different?
  • Make more deposits. Tell your girl she’s beautiful and that you love her pancake booty. Surprise her with gifts. Shower her with love!
  • Listen to her! You’d be surprised how many times you might avoid an issue.
  • Be honest, and truthful about how you want to change and what you’re going to do to fix things that went wrong in the past.
  • Let her know, gently, when she’s taking her investigation or her words too far. You’re not your mistakes or the last guys.
  • If you love her, don’t give up. It’s hard to find love these days, if it’s worth it, and she’s trying, don’t give up!

Bottom line, no one starts off crazy and no one is saying that you have to deal with it. If one person is acting out in a relationship, it’s possible that you both have things you need to fix. But work with each other, not against each other. If you both truly love one another then you have the same goal in mind. It’s not going to be easy and it will be uncomfortable but it will be worth it!

**If you can think of some other tips or tricks on overcoming issues in a relationship, leave us a comment below! We can use all the help we can get :)**

Image > Flickr

Welcome Back, for the First Time!

For those of you who are coming to LadyDocket.Com for the first time, allow me to introduce it!

This blog used to be a place where I shared celebrity gossip, local gossip and just over all 98% negativity. I wasn’t proud of it so I decided to stop. Through that time I though about coming back but I didn’t think there was anything I wanted to talk about. Cue Narcism because I am changing this from something negative to a lifestyle blog.

I realize now that I have more to say than what’s allowed by a Twitter status. I have more to say than what my current Facebook followers may be interested. So, I’ll say it here. I’ll be touching on fashion, fitness and life in general. Really just whatever catches my fancy. I’ll be responding to other articles that I’ve read, I may even be responding to the negativity I see and putting a positive spin on things.

I just want to put more into the world. I feel I have so much to say and not very many people to say to at this time without sounding COMPLETELY crazy, corny and everything in between. That being said , a wise man once said, “Follow me, follow me, follow me but you bet not slip.”