2017: The Year of Acceptance

When a new year starts it can be daunting to think about changing when you haven’t even accepted who or where you are. I would like to take a moment to work on a part of the Serenity Prayer that has always struck a cord with me:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

I know the new year is supposed to be about change. But this year, we may need to work on acceptance. This is a resolution that doesn’t get much recognition. There are so many people out there that are battling with their past, battling with their present, battling with their thoughts. Before you can change you need to accept that you are the person you are meant to be. There are some things about yourself that you just can’t change and need to be accepted and embraced to allow you to have a clear head. There is power in accepting who you are. When you truly accept who you are no one can tear you down for being gay, straight, transitioning, dark-skinned, light-skinned, Jewish or Atheist. You’ll begin to find power in those things that once were a sore spot for you.

Even things that can be improved upon can deserve some acceptance. Things like weight loss and mental illness are just a couple of things that also require acceptance. Accept that you are beautiful and capable no matter what. So that when you don’t have the energy or the drive to get things completed the way you would have hoped, you don’t allow it to consume you. You are still capable of continuing and picking yourself up from exactly where you left off.

We also need to accept unexpected change as it comes. Things may not have worked out how you expected this past year. Try accepting those changes, think about what you may have learned or what you may have gained from those unexpected changes and experiences. You can’t change the past any more than you can predict the future. Accept was has happened and do your best to make a brighter day, despite the difficulties you face.

Change is great but acceptance can be so powerful. Accept that you are who you were truly meant to be within. Any changes that come be they physical or metaphysical can only enhance what was already there in you all along. Accept who you are meant to be, challenges and all. Because if you are looking for change, it may not come easy. So accept the challenge. Change doesn’t have to be your only goal for 2017, and acceptance can be a catalyst.

**Do you have any things you are working on accepting in the new year or any goals you have set out? Drop them below! Your acceptance can help someone else!**

IFYAM: Stop Being The “Crazy” Girlfriend

This is an ode to all of the crazy girlfriends out there. Let’s just take a step back and chill!

First off, you may be asking your self, “Am I a crazy girlfriend?” Chances are, if you have to ask, you already know. I don’t like to uplift the crazy but I can’t deny that I have been the crazy girlfriend a time or two before. What causes the crazy girlfriend to wil’ out and not care who’s looking? If you are crazy, how do you change? Coming from a semi reformed crazy girlfriend, let me help you. Put your hand in my hand, let’s take a walk, I promise I won’t look anywhere else but into your eyes😍.

What causes you or your girlfriend to go crazy!? This could be a number of things, but let’s just touch on some of the key factors.

  1. Past relationships or past incidents in the current relationship can cause a girlfriend to be on edge. Once something happens to break trust in can be hard to not be on the defensive. If you’ve lied about something important or said you were one place when you were somewhere totally different, don’t be surprised if your girlfriend is tracking you via Find My iPhone. Now you word isn’t good enough, she needs physical proof that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Yes, it’s your fault!
  2. Insecurities can  also play a big part in the crazy girlfriends way of thinking. If she doesn’t feel beautiful, she’s going to assume you are finding beauty in all of the photos of those Instagram girls with the big butts and boobs we can only get if we manage to win a Dr. Miami body makeover giveaway. Next time you see Bernice Burgos Instagram fellas just keep scrolling. Do you really need to double tap that? Gosh!
  3. She might not even know she’s being crazy! Sometimes, what you might think is crazy, is really just normal behavior for her. She’s done these things so much and so often she’s not even aware that she might be taking things a bit too far with you. Maybe she doesn’t need to have her friends following you to work to make sure you stay there all day. Plus if she’s tracking you via Find My iPhone, it’s just overkill.
  4. Take a look at your self. Really ask your self, what might you be doing to encourage this behavior. Yes, everyone has the right to choose there reaction to the stimuli in front of them. But you can only ask so much of your significant other. Are there things she’s been asking you to do or not do that you’ve failed to pay attention to?

So it’s broken, how do you fix it?

I though you’d never ask! There two parts to this, if you’re a crazy girlfriend, we’ll talk to you first. You have no patience!

  1. Work on yourself! There’s no better way to work on your quality of life than to improve upon yourself. Maybe you need to seek counseling, to help you get rid of that baggage or maybe you just need to share how it is affecting you with your current partner. Sometimes the best way to let go of somethings is to just put it all out there until you feel better. If you need help sticking to a goal, check this article out.
  2. Tell yourself you are beautiful! It sounds so cliche but it can work wonders. And if you don’t believe it when you are saying it, it doesn’t hurt to change things up a bit. Try a new hairstyle, go to the gym or buy some new clothes. I know there are so many things you’ve been thinking about doing but you can’t do them because you’re trying to make sure you don’t miss something bad that hasn’t happened yet. Go take care of yourself and don’t worry about anyone else.
  3. You can’t control the past or the future. You can’t spend you time worrying about what might happen, and you know this. But if something does happen, wouldn’t you want to be painting that mural or writing that book you’ve been dreaming about instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  4. No, we aren’t going to tell you to drop your partner. Only you know if that’s the best option for you. But if they are the trigger for you to turn into the Sherlock Homegirl… we may want to consider this option. But also know you may need to cut your man some slack. Running isn’t always the option, don’t be afraid to work on yourself or apologize when it’s needed.

Now for Mr. Fix It. I’m just going to give you some bullet points so it’s easy to follow along. We know you don’t like to read. If you’ve gotten this far, round of applause. And not the kind you get in the strip club.

  • Check yourself. What are you doing and what could you do different?
  • Make more deposits. Tell your girl she’s beautiful and that you love her pancake booty. Surprise her with gifts. Shower her with love!
  • Listen to her! You’d be surprised how many times you might avoid an issue.
  • Be honest, and truthful about how you want to change and what you’re going to do to fix things that went wrong in the past.
  • Let her know, gently, when she’s taking her investigation or her words too far. You’re not your mistakes or the last guys.
  • If you love her, don’t give up. It’s hard to find love these days, if it’s worth it, and she’s trying, don’t give up!

Bottom line, no one starts off crazy and no one is saying that you have to deal with it. If one person is acting out in a relationship, it’s possible that you both have things you need to fix. But work with each other, not against each other. If you both truly love one another then you have the same goal in mind. It’s not going to be easy and it will be uncomfortable but it will be worth it!

**If you can think of some other tips or tricks on overcoming issues in a relationship, leave us a comment below! We can use all the help we can get :)**

Image > Flickr

Welcome Back, for the First Time!

For those of you who are coming to LadyDocket.Com for the first time, allow me to introduce it!

This blog used to be a place where I shared celebrity gossip, local gossip and just over all 98% negativity. I wasn’t proud of it so I decided to stop. Through that time I though about coming back but I didn’t think there was anything I wanted to talk about. Cue Narcism because I am changing this from something negative to a lifestyle blog.

I realize now that I have more to say than what’s allowed by a Twitter status. I have more to say than what my current Facebook followers may be interested. So, I’ll say it here. I’ll be touching on fashion, fitness and life in general. Really just whatever catches my fancy. I’ll be responding to other articles that I’ve read, I may even be responding to the negativity I see and putting a positive spin on things.

I just want to put more into the world. I feel I have so much to say and not very many people to say to at this time without sounding COMPLETELY crazy, corny and everything in between. That being said , a wise man once said, “Follow me, follow me, follow me but you bet not slip.”