IFYAM: Stop Being The “Crazy” Girlfriend

This is an ode to all of the crazy girlfriends out there. Let’s just take a step back and chill!

First off, you may be asking your self, “Am I a crazy girlfriend?” Chances are, if you have to ask, you already know. I don’t like to uplift the crazy but I can’t deny that I have been the crazy girlfriend a time or two before. What causes the crazy girlfriend to wil’ out and not care who’s looking? If you are crazy, how do you change? Coming from a semi reformed crazy girlfriend, let me help you. Put your hand in my hand, let’s take a walk, I promise I won’t look anywhere else but into your eyesūüėć.

What causes you or your girlfriend to go crazy!?¬†This could be a number of things, but let’s just touch on some of the key factors.

  1. Past relationships or past incidents in the current relationship can cause a girlfriend to be on edge. Once something happens to break trust in can be hard to not be on the defensive. If you’ve lied about something important or said you were one place when you were somewhere totally different, don’t be surprised if your girlfriend is tracking you via Find My iPhone. Now you word isn’t good enough, she needs physical proof that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Yes, it’s your fault!
  2. Insecurities can ¬†also play a big part in the crazy girlfriends way of thinking. If she doesn’t feel beautiful, she’s going to assume you are finding beauty in all of the photos of those Instagram girls with the big butts and boobs we can only get if we manage to win a Dr. Miami body makeover giveaway. Next time you see Bernice Burgos Instagram fellas just keep scrolling. Do you really need to double tap that? Gosh!
  3. She might not even know she’s being crazy! Sometimes, what you might think is crazy, is really just normal behavior for her. She’s done these things so much and so often she’s not even aware that she might be taking things a bit too far with you. Maybe she doesn’t need to have her friends following you to work to make sure you stay there all day. Plus if she’s tracking you via Find My iPhone, it’s just overkill.
  4. Take a look at your self. Really ask your self, what might you be doing to encourage this behavior. Yes, everyone has the right to choose there reaction to the stimuli in front of them. But you can only ask so much of your significant other. Are there things she’s been asking you to do or not do that you’ve failed to pay attention to?

So it’s broken, how do you fix it?

I though you’d never ask! There two parts to this, if you’re a crazy girlfriend, we’ll talk to you first. You have no patience!

  1. Work on yourself! There’s no better way to work on your quality of life than to improve upon yourself. Maybe you need to seek counseling,¬†to help you get rid of that baggage or maybe you just need to share how it is affecting you with your current partner. Sometimes the best way to let go of somethings is to just put it all out there until you feel better. If you need help sticking to a goal, check this article out.
  2. Tell yourself you are beautiful! It sounds so cliche but it can work wonders. And if you don’t believe it when you are saying it, it doesn’t hurt to change things up a bit. Try a new hairstyle, go to the gym or buy some new clothes. I know there are so many things you’ve been thinking about doing but you can’t do them because you’re trying to make sure you don’t miss something bad that hasn’t happened yet. Go take care of yourself and don’t worry about anyone else.
  3. You can’t control the past or the future. You can’t spend you time worrying about what might happen, and you know this. But if something does happen, wouldn’t you want to be painting that mural or writing that book you’ve been dreaming about instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  4. No, we aren’t going to tell you to drop your partner. Only you know if that’s the best option for you. But if they are the trigger for you to turn into the Sherlock Homegirl… we may want to consider this option. But also know you may need to cut your man some slack. Running isn’t always the option, don’t be afraid to work on yourself or apologize when it’s needed.

Now for Mr. Fix It. I’m just going to give you some bullet points so it’s easy to follow along. We know you don’t like to read. If you’ve gotten this far, round of applause. And not the kind you get in the strip club.

  • Check yourself. What are you doing and what could you do different?
  • Make more deposits. Tell your girl she’s beautiful and that you love her pancake booty. Surprise her with gifts. Shower her with love!
  • Listen to her! You’d be surprised how many times you might avoid an issue.
  • Be honest, and truthful about how you want to change and what you’re going to do to fix things that went wrong in the past.
  • Let her know, gently, when she’s taking her investigation or her words too far. You’re not your mistakes or the last guys.
  • If you love her, don’t give up. It’s hard to find love these days, if it’s worth it, and she’s trying, don’t give up!

Bottom line, no one starts off crazy and no one is saying that you have to deal with it. If one person is acting out in a relationship, it’s possible¬†that you both have things you need to fix. But work with each other, not against each other. If you both truly love one another then you have the same goal in mind. It’s not going to be easy and it will be uncomfortable but it will be worth it!

**If you can think of some other tips or tricks on overcoming issues in a relationship, leave us a comment below! We can use all the help we can get :)**

Image > Flickr

5 Tips to Stick to a Lifestyle Change

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Are you¬†thinking about changing your lifestyle, whether it be going vegan, becoming more thrifty or becoming more spiritually centered. We’ve all heard that phrase that Rome wasn’t built in a day but how often do we actually consider that our Rome won’t be built in a day either. When we are ready to reach a new level in life often times we want that level up to happen quicker than it can or¬†will. We have to prepare ourselves, we might have to jump over a few pits and¬†break down a few barriers before we rescue the princess from Bowser.¬†Here are a few tips and tricks that can help making your transition from who you were to who you want to be and trying not to get overwhelmed while you are doing so.

 

Make Small Changes: We tend to think that either it is all or nothing and there’s no room for mistakes. This may work for somethings and some people. But you can’t apply this same rule to everything and everyone in life. In the mean time, you don’t have to go all in and throw every single snack you have away you’ve ever enjoyed or stop getting your hair done and your nails fixed. All this means is that we want to make better decisions. So, instead of getting the extra blinded out nails, try getting a nice color that can last you a few weeks you won’t have to worry about touching up. Try substituting one meal out of your day for something home cooked and healthy. Small changes will lead to bigger changes over time after you build you confidence.

Envision What You Want For Yourself: I know it sounds silly, but envisioning the outcome that you want for yourself can be very helpful. When I was learning to play basketball, my father used to tell me to envision the ball going into the hoop. Envision your ball going into the hoop! This can help especially when you are filling like you’ve lost your way. It can help you get back on track sooner than later! That brings us to the next step.

Don’t beat your self up: This is a Major Key Alert! I know how easy it is to feel down when you didn’t have a cheat free day or week, but we all make mistakes. If you broke down and bought a bag that cost too much,¬†or you ate meat after doing so good. It can feel like it’s the end of the world but you can’t give up. Dust yourself off and try again! This one mistake or 50 mistakes don’t define who you are or what you want in life. What defines you is whether you give up or not. Mistake does not mean the same thing as failure or giving up and you can’t fail when you try.

Talk to friends and family: More often than not, when you share your struggles with friends and family that support you they will let you know just how far you’ve come. I know it sounds simple but sometimes you need to hear that your hard work is being noticed and that you are working hard.

Don’t give up: I’ve mentioned this a few times but it bears mentioning again. If you wan’t to reach your goals, the cardinal rule is to not give up. If something is important to you, the worst thing you can do is to give up or never try. You’ll never know what you could have accomplished.

I know that changing your lifestyle can be really hard, even though the benefits are great. This means shifting things in your personality that have been ingrained in you, possibly from birth. Don’t expect things to happen overnight. If it does, that’s awesome but if it doesn’t keep trying and never give up. That better you is waiting on the other side!

Do you have any tips and pointers on making a lifestyle change that weren’t listed above? Leave something in the comments, we can all benefit!